Since I pulled no punches in talking about some of my strange experiences as a preacher (see previous article), I thought it only fair to put together a new Top Ten list about elders. So, here is my Top Ten Strange Things I've Heard From Elders.
10. "We are the fathers and the members are the children, and they do what we tell them."
9. "Someone said to me that it looked like Mike was running things around here." To which I did respond, "Well, you straightened them out didn't you?"
8. "Don't dance with the elephants!" Wisdom (?) from a retired Air Force officer about knowing my place in an elders meeting. I missed the dance and still got trampled - ouch.
7. "Members say they can't concentrate on the Lord's Supper without a set of communion trays up front, so let's leave them one set up front on the table." This was after they received flak for serving communion from the back. One tray was placed on the front table. Idolatry?
6. "You shouldn't go jogging (with the Youth Minister) at 3:30 in the afternoon because people think you're not working." And the reason why that was the only available time to run was....?
5. "Nothing personal, it's just business." Odd, coming from a friend and brother.
4. "Pews are more comfortable than chairs." The rationale for not turning our auditorium into a multi-purpose room by using stacking chairs. If the theater people only knew...
3. "I think we need to be seen up front more often." Still a wrong image of shepherding.
2. "We're the shepherd's, trust us." If you have to ask...
1. "What were we supposed to think?" Like Jesus? As I always say, "If you don't communicate you speculate." I must not have said it enough...
Sorry they're not all funny, but some of them weren't funny at the time and they still aren't, but they still make my top ten list of strange things I've heard from elders. And in their defense, I wish I had a nickel for every statement I've made through the years to an elder or elders that I wish I could take back or restate. Mere men - awesome grace! Thank God!
2 comments:
Elder comment I heard," I promise that I will have on a tie everytime I stand before you."
Must be a qualification. Guess you can tell the minister didn't wear a tie--oh that was you. Not at Florrisant.
Hi Mike, Got another one for you. From an Assembly Planning meeting, "We don't want to offend anyone, so if there is another way to do it, that what we need to do."
Well, there is always another way to do it. The same repetitive way we have done it for years ...
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