Tuesday, March 08, 2011
New Series of Lessons
I began a new lesson series last Sunday about qualities that will help us build better homes. While it is primarily a family/home series, I'm making a special effort to focus on relationship building principles in general so that everyone, even singles, can get something from it. I know several in my church family check my blog regularly, so at the risk of boring them, I thought I would share the highlights (main points) of each lesson when I get back to my office on Tuesday mornings. I hope they will encourage and bless you.
Anyone who has ever heard me preach/teach for any length of time, know that I emphasize communication a lot. In this lesson I simply shared two absolutes and then five traits.
Absolute #1: Your relationship is only as strong as your communication. If you don't talk, you don't know one another, and if you don't know one another, you won't care about one another.
Absolute #2: (Surprise!!!) If you don't communicate you speculate! Fact! It's never about doing nothing (because you don't talk), because you WILL fill in the needed information with speculation, which is easier, fearless, judgmental, selfish, and nearly always wrong.
Mike's Five Traits of Communication (I know - it's not very catchy)
1. Make conversation a high priority. Reorganize your priorities, make good choices, and be intentional. (Use bed time, car time, table time, and alone time)
2. Leaders model priorities. If parents don't talk, the kids will walk. Loving parents model healthy communication. If you want to hear from your kids when they become adults, make sharing important now.
3. Communication drives relationships not the TV. TV isn't bad, well not all of it anyway. Use it, control it, learn to have fun and talk about it, but don't let it rob you of real living. Watching shows about dysfunctional families won't help you have a better one.
4. Learn to be a listener! Talking is not always communication. Be honest, courageous, and patient. Learn to respond rather than react. Reacting is all about you, & kills communication. Responding is seeking to understand why they feel the way they do. Listen with the heart.
5. Always keep the doors of communication open! Seek to understand. Don't close the door with anger and impatience. Develop a pattern of reconciliation - a way to heal the relationship.
Conclusion: What sustained the Father & Son through those terrible hours when they couldn't talk? What they KNEW about one another! What will your loved ones know about you when they can't talk to you any more?