Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Not a rant - just a perspective!

Opps! I missed Valentines Day - again! I guess my wife will have to wonder, for another year now, if I truly love her. At least that is what the jewelry, florist, and candy commercials imply. Let me see now? A thoughtful and memory making Anniversary surprise two months ago on December 14th doesn't count, and I guess that means the thoughtful, and not so inexpensive, Christmas present (and I don't ever purchase a gift for anyone that doesn't have A LOT of thought going into it) - just six or seven weeks ago can't possibly say "I love you" like a box of chocolates in February. And all of that pales to insignificance if there wasn't the daily words, touch, and acts of affection that are part of our marriage. Could I do more? Absolutely! Do I need an arbitrary calendar date to do it? Maybe - if I need it or just want to use it. But should I feel guilty for not spending money on my wife on a day that has no significance or specialness, beyond the fact that the commercial world wants me to purchase their products? I don't think so. Sure, through the years we've occasionally exchanged cards, gone out to dinner, and did something special, but after thirty-eight plus years, we don't need anyone to define the depth of our love for each other. Don't get me wrong. It's never a bad idea to do something good. Still there is part of me that resists and resents someone else telling me when and how I should show it. For me, it's like the National Day of Prayer. Good thing to do - okay! But, how can you have a DAY for something you do every day?
It's like I've been saying for several years now about the things Christians do when we come together. They are tools to use not rites to perform - or laws to obey and get off your check-list. Hey - Valentines Day is a wonderful time to REMEMBER to show love and appreciation. Use it - if YOU need to. Just don't turn it into a test of love or a source of guilt.
Thoughtfulness is quite possibly the most important element in building a marriage. If you need a reminder, like Valentines Day, that's great. But, you're going to need a lot more thoughtfulness than that - over the course of any twelve month period, if you're serious about building a great marriage.


Anonymous said...

Yeah.....what he said!!!

Phyllis said...

If the kind words, gifts, and cards only occur on that ONE day, they do not mean anything anyway. It is much better to be treated as someone that is treasured on a consistent basis!