Doubts-A-Million?

There is nothing unhealthy about honest doubts. For example, I know I'm saved. I spent my entire lesson last Sunday explaining why I know that. Yet, in my 46 years of being a Christian, I spent more of those years doubting my salvation than I have feeling secure about my salvation. As part of the introduction of my lesson, I made five statements about what it doesn't mean.
1. It's not about me being so righteous or good - I'm not!
2. It's not a matter of deserving it - I can't!
3. It's not about me figuring it all out - I haven't!
4. It's not about me having joined the right church - I was added!
5. I would be saved even if I didn't know it! Most of the time I haven't!
That last point is the one I want to emphasize. Most of my insecurities of the past, regarding my salvation, have come from the full awareness of sin in my life, and my sense of total unworthiness. My doubts, however, never kept me from searching and growing. I have said for many years that doubts are healthy if they are part of the growing process. They are unhealty if they are simply excuses to stop seeking or to make us feel better about our sins.
How can we think any other way? The very nature of seeking is asking questions, having doubts to remove, and searching for understanding. God is pleased and rewards the seeker (Heb.11:6), and that transcends our doubts and our ability to "figure it all out." Until I understood that what God wants to see in my heart was a desire to be going in the right direction (walking in the light - 1 Jn.1:7), I saw my journey as trying to do more good works and less sinful acts. Once I understood that going in the right direction meant my constant cleasing by the blood of Jesus - again, in spite of my sins which I'd be lying if I said I didn't have - I realized that salvation is HIS work not mine! (1 John 1:5-10)
What's the bottom line? I don't understand a lot of things in the Bible or in the mind of God. I don't think we were ever meant to in this life. And doubts? Yes I have some. Not about God and ANY promise he has made, but about many traditional teachings and conclusions that man has proclaimed. Our challenge isn't to know EVERYTHING, but to TRUST HIM! I believe that our level of doubting is directly related to our understanding of God's grace. What I have learned is that the more I come to know that his "grace is sufficent" for me, and that his power is made "perfect" or made complete when I am weak and absolutely MUST trust him - what is there to doubt? His grace is greater than my doubts, and I have no doubts about that!
His grace gives liberty and security. That may sound frightening to some, but his grace - when we really get it - makes us feel totally unworthy, and fills us with the motivation to please the One who could love us so much!