Tuesday, February 23, 2010

A Spud Dud

On Sunday I introduced my lesson for the morning by talking about Couch Potatoes. It's a touchy subject because we're all Couch Potatoes at certain times in our lives and would probably like to be one at times when we have to do things we dread doing. But that was my point. I defined being a Couch Potato, not by time spent in front of a TV, but by a sedentary and negligent lifestyle. My actual definition is: A Couch Potato is the mindless watching of TV while neglecting more important things. I confessed to being an occasional or selective CP, but pointed out that watching educational channels, like the History Channel, doesn't count - because it's learning and that counts as work. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
Anyway, in my usual desire to keep things light so I can later on "lower the boom," I came up with ten Jeff Foxworthy-type descriptions of a Couch Potato. The point of the lesson was challenging some to quit being Church Potatoes. I'll share some of those descriptions later. They're not funny at all. Until then, I hope you enjoy the following.

You may be a Couch Potato if...
1. ...you've learned to completely ignore your sore rear-end from sitting so long watching TV.
2. ...for you, every food commercial qualities as educational TV.
3. ...you've completely mastered football cheerleading from a recliner.
4. ...you've watch TV so long that you're starting to like the Becky's Carpet commercials. (If you're not from SL, just think about the most obnoxious local advertisement where you live.)
5. ...you've learned how to mute the TV when your spouse talks to you, but you're still reading the lips of everyone on the TV screen.
6. ...you know exactly when you will need a bathroom break during tomorrow nights TV viewing.
7. ...you call channel surfing - exercises!
8. ...if you blame an exciting golf or bowling show for making you eat more.
9. ...during a technical problem when your TV is not working, you start feeling the need to take up drinking, smoking, or using Valium.
10. ...a recliner, a TV tray, a bowl of popcorn, and a Big Gulp are all part of your funeral instructions.

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