Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Sex & Singing!

That title is not a cheap attention getter - but it does make you wonder what this is about, doesn't it? There are probably other parallels that could be made (not to mention jokes), but how we think of both sex and singing largely depends on what we think the purpose is. In Jerry and Lynn Jones Marriage Matters Seminar, they shared a lot of truly valuable information about building a strong marriage. When they talked about sex in marriage, and particularly the completely different ways that men and women view it, they said something very profound. They concluded the discussion by pointing out that "Husbands will have to learn to have sex less than they want and wives will have to learn to have sex more than they want." I love the practical truth of that comment, but I especially love the clear emphasis that in marriage you consider the needs and feelings of your mate, and you give or postpone your needs for their sake.
I'm a firm believer that sexual frustrations, lack of communication about it, and failure to be unselfish is the number one cause of marital problems. Arguing about finances and being thoughtless are just symptoms of the real number one problem. What complicates the truth is that most men won't admit it and a lot of women are clueless as to how incredibly important it is to men.
The challenge for all of us who want to have healthy and thriving marriages is to quit thinking of sex as a personal need and start thinking of it as a gift from God to share with the one we love. If we take it out of the category of "my drives" or "my mood" and see it as a gift to give, to be considerate, thoughtful, and loving, it becomes a blessing not a burden or source of frustration.
What in the world does that have to do with singing? Wow, there's an awesome joke there somewhere, but the point is that singing (in a spiritual one another setting) is a gift from God that we get to give to others. We have bought into Satan's trick that singing is about what I like or what makes me feel good, and it defines whether or not I label the assembly of the saints a success. Until it becomes a gift we give away - especially when it's not a song that we like or enjoy - it will always be a source of contention, judgment, and a misplaced church identity - as opposed to having our identity in Jesus and loving one another. God gave it to us as a tool to encourage one another not as some ceremonial rite to be checked off the "worship list" on Sunday morning or to be our church "feel good" pill to "pump us up" before the sermon.
So now you know what sex and singing have in common. They are beautiful gifts that we give as God intended.

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