The Myth Begins

Last Sunday morning I presented the first of my series on The Myth America Contest. I'm really enjoying this because it's not only an attempt to be relevant and take a break from expository preaching, but it allows me the chance to challenge some of our cultural myths. For example, this first lesson was Myth Chemistry, subtitled EHarmony.Con (intentional changing of the M). I challenged the cultural myth that relationships are all about chemistry - finding your "soul-mate" is all about finding the person who answers the secret 25 questions the same as you do. While there's an element of truth to the idea, my counter argument is that relationships are about commitment not chemistry. This chemistry myth causes people to have unrealistic expectations, see relationships as automatic rather than hard work, and to have an excuse to end it when "the chemistry is gone." It's built on three other myths...
1. The Myth of Compatibility = if we are so alike we will be so close! Compatibility doesn't always build closeness. Sometimes it fosters competitiveness, comparing, and it's boring. We weren't made to be alike, but to like how we are made different. It's not about shared interests, it's about shared values. Love is not chemistry, it's a choice. 1 Cor.13:4-8 are choices, just as loving God is a choice.
2. The Myth of Conformity = "I want someone who will become what I want them to be." I call this the "They'll Change Syndrome". NO relationship will work where people think about controlling, molding, or training their mate. Relationship building is about giving not taking - or making! Eph.5:21-25 describes it as submitting and being like Christ, but this is about what we must be not what we must force "them" to be.
3. The Myth of Continuity = the fantasy of "the eternal honeymoon". The problem free marriage never existed and most young people are totally unprepared for the reality of working through relationship problems. After all - they have chemistry! BUT, do they have commitment? It's working through the problems that deepens a relationship and the love. That's why the Bible talks in terms of effort, work, and seeking - even in spiritual relationships. It's what we decide it will be - look a 1 Thess.5:12-18 and apply it to marriage!
Would you say that our "Chemistry" with God is strong? He made us in His image! If it was about chemistry, we'd ALL be as close as angels to God! It's about choices and commitments and love that grows through trials and tough times. That's why "love covers a multitude of sins," - not because of a chemical formula, but a committed faith.
This coming Sunday I'll be taking a look a Myth Youth. The subtitle is "Get the Wrinkles out!" (If you are one of those who download the lessons from the web page, be aware that our recorder crashed last week. They're making recording from the video tape and that will make each lesson be at least a week late. I'm hoping we get the new recorder in this week.)