It has been hard to be patient as my voice has gradually been coming back to normal. It has been eleven days since the botox injection into my vocal folds and I have spent most of my possible talking moments either silent or whispering. For the first time in my preaching career, I was "in-town" and had to have a replacement do the sermon yesterday (and Jerry did a super job too). The voice is getting better every day. I listened to just a few second of my sermon from May 20th and was totally amazed at how terrible my voice sounded. If you have a few seconds, just click on the church web page at florissantchurchofchrist.org and click on listen to a sermon - hit the May 2oth and hear for yourself - just a couple seconds and you'll see. Wow, the old voice had really gotten worse in the last four months - even though I've probably had the spasmodic dysphonia for maybe twenty years. I am really anxious to hear how my "normal" voice is supposed to sound. I really did use to be a baritone.
I've said all that to make a simple point. I'd be lying if I said I've never thought about what would happen if I lost my ability to talk - to preach - to do the thing I love most in life. But I haven't worried much about it. God made me and He can remake me any time He wants. I feel so blessed to have had thirty-something years of preaching, sharing, and growing in Christ as I helped others do the same that- well, how could I possibly feel cheated if it all stopped today? I can't ask "Why me?" or "How can you let this happen?" I've had more than I deserve - and that was true thirty years ago!
Isn't that a metaphor for life - and death? How many years do we deserve? If we've enjoyed God's blessings and lived thankfully, how can we fee cheated if it all comes to an end today? We didn't deserve the first year let alone the years- in my case - almost 56, he gave us! Maybe the real secret to joyful living isn't so much looking forward to what we think we deserve as it is recognizing what we've had. Living thankfully is the only way to live for the moment. If this world is such a wonderful place to live, why didn't Jesus wait until He was seventy to die for us? I bet there's no spasmodic dysphonia where He lives!
1 comment:
You missed the wedding, but your thoughts and prayers were there- we could tell.
Rachel should have either died or been very mentally retarded when she was born--we have lived each day with her being thankful for another one to share with her.
We faced the same three years ago when they told Bob to live each day as if it was his last--because with his heart it was a good possiblity it was. (Since then God has blessed him with good health and a healthy heart.) But, when those words came--I was so upset, then decided we had had more happiness and love in 20 years then most people have all their life and we would just be thankful for that and each day that was given to us as a gift there after.
Thanks so much for your words thru the years--we thank God for all the years we were blessed and challenged by them. love, the Haughts
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